Where do you get your worth from?
Take a minute, connect with your inner self and answer some of these questions:
What defines you?
What makes you happy?
What feeds your soul?
What makes you truly feel worthy?
When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror who do you see?
Do you see somebody that you are proud to look at?
Do you see the flaws and imperfections?
Do you look at yourself and wonder why you even got out of bed?
What makes you feel Completely Worthy of EVERYTHING you desire in your life?
…an amazing spouse.
…having people by your side just because you’re YOU?
Where does YOUR worth truly come from?
Maybe it comes from YOUR PEERS.
Maybe you feel better about yourself when you’re with friends who care and want to be with you.
Maybe you feel worthy when somebody buys you a gift or does you a favor.
You may walk in worthiness because you have a partner who loves you.
Somebody who truly knows you and desires to be with you and only you.
Somebody who makes you their first priority.
Another human being who wants to connect with you fully in every single way.
It’s possible that your CHILDREN give you a high level of self-worth.
You brought them into this world and parent them to the best of your ability.
You know that you are doing something magical with these tiny human beings and that feeling alone makes you feel worthy.
Or your children are grown and you feel worthy because you raised them well.
Maybe you derive your self-worth from your APPEARANCE.
You follow your morning routine, looking “flawless” before you go outside into the world of other human beings.
You put your make up on so it highlights all your best features.
You spend 15 minutes putting your hair in the perfect messy bun.
You dress yourself in the most flattering colors and choose a style or fashion that matches the latest trend.
Do you believe that others will love you more because of the way you look?
Does being viewed as smart, beautiful, handsome, put together or just a little bit messy so you don’t look TOO put together feed your self-worth?
Do you have a higher self-worth because of the things you HAVE?
Does the size of your house make you feel more valuable?
Is your car brand new and top of the line — giving you a heightened sense of self-worth when people see you driving it?
Are you always getting the next best phone, TV, tool or gadget because you know it feeds into the way you view yourself?
These things aren’t bad on their own. It is about understanding whether the things you own inflate you and raise your confidence level, defining your worthiness.
Do you feel more worthy when you SAY the right words, DO the right thing or ACT in the right way?
When you are grammatically incorrect or say something you feel is “stupid” in front of your colleague or superior, does your self-worth go down?
When you write a seamless blog, deliver the perfect line that makes everyone laugh or ace the job interview, do you feel better about yourself?
Do those things make you feel worthwhile?
Do you get your self-worth from the things that you SAY and DO?
What does it really mean to feel worthy?
How do you and I get up in the morning and go to sleep at night, knowing that we are worthwhile human beings no matter what we say, do, think or feel?
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” — Brené Brown
How do we believe this truth at the core of our being?
I thought there was a secret.
Some people just seemed to have this inner confidence.
They walked around as if they knew how amazing they were, yet they were humble enough not to flaunt it.
There was something very self-assured about them.
It was like they knew something I didn’t know.
I often wanted to get to know these people better and figure out what made them tick.
But not until after I got over my own insecurity from being around them and feeling inadequate in the midst of all their inner confidence.
I spent many years looking for self-worth. I’ve looked for it in ALL the wrong places.
I’ve looked for my worth in everything I mentioned above and SO much more than that.
None of those things ever worked for longer than the time they lasted.
So what was the secret?
“Worthiness, in very simple terms, means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting” — Esther Hicks
I think that each of us has a slightly different definition of self-worth.
This comes from having certain things that make us feel worthwhile.
All those things are great, except for us to truly know our worth, it requires much more than what we say and do. It requires us to let go of finding our worthiness in what is external.
Worthiness is INTERNAL — it comes from a deep sense of knowing that we are perfect, whole and complete as human beings, just the way we are.
“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” — Brené Brown
It’s an enlightened state where we see ourselves as the tiny speck that we are, letting go of any grandiose images of what we should be. It is in knowing that we live in a massive world full of billions of other souls and we are all connected to something bigger than ourselves.
We don’t make ourselves seem impressive or better than anyone else — we just KNOW that we are intrinsically whole.
“We often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough… You’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.” — Oprah Winfrey
It is the INNER QUALITIES we possess that make us feel worthy….
Believing in Contribution.
Being truly Authentic.
Putting people first.
Believing in a higher power.
This is where your worth truly comes from — INSIDE YOURSELF.
It is not from something we can see or touch — it is from the depths of our soul in the qualities that we live by.
It is in our BEING.
We are BORN worthy.
We need NOTHING external to feel that we have a deep sense of worth.
And when we feel worthy, we strive to be more because we believe we can and we know we’re worth it.
“We must honor our worthiness in order to receive what we want. In our society, we are conditioned to believe that we are not worthy, and that it is even selfish to want to be able to attract things into our lives.” — Wayne Dyer
By stepping into worth, we let that intrinsic feeling surpass all other things in this world that can fall away so easily.
Our worth is not fleeting, but is a state of our mind and heart that endures through all the circumstances life gives us.
“Self-worth is an understanding on the intellectual level, trusting at the heart level, and accepting at the soul level that you are worthy just because you believe that you are. Your worthiness is proven by your existence. Your breathing. The beating of your heart. Your mere presence is all that is needed to establish your worth.” — Iyanla Vanzant
You CHOOSE to feel worthy.
At first, it may take some mindful practice.
You begin to feel it as you have a sense of knowing deep down inside.
You connect to something bigger than you — God, a higher power or the universe.
Having faith in what is unseen can give us a perspective that goes deeper than the things we see with our eyes.
It can allow us to find deeper meaning in our lives and in who we are as human beings.
What you and I get to do is dig deep and notice when our self-worth is wavering and we are basing the way we feel about ourselves on the external things around us…
Words that people speak over us.
The amount of lakes we got on Facebook.
Whether we look good that day or not.
The way to worthiness is in CHOOSING to be worthy just because YOU ARE!
You choose to show up with qualities that honor you and others.
You believe that you are good and doing the best you can every single day.
You know that you care about people and want the best for them too.
Worthiness comes from the heart and soul.
It involves our inner being and it spills out onto others.
Worthiness comes up from inside you because it is there — you believe it and have faith in its existence.