Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about a life I don’t currently live. I lay down with my eyes closed and imagine a life with no conflict, no pain, no hurt and no big commitments. I think about my husband and daughter, who I love very much, and I fantasize about taking off on a long vacation and coming back in a few months refreshed and ready to take on responsibility again.
I like living in this place of fantasy because it is almost perfect, mainly because it isn’t real.
I can imagine it to be anything I want and in this world, I don’t have to deal with so much of what I have to deal with right now. My daughter is perfectly behaved all the time and never whines or complains. My husband makes dinner, my mom never complains and my fitness level is consistently at an optimum. Intimacy with my husband is always a 10/10 and he tells me I’m beautiful every day. I always think pure thoughts and don’t hesitate to take risks that are scary.
Fantasy can be a great place to go for a while and I realize that is not reality.
It is a place I can use to escape from reality anytime I want, but it takes me away from being present.
It gives me a life that is nearly perfect, and it is not real. It is a world where I deal with no significant pain, however I don’t really grow. I can imagine things are always the way I want them, yet I’m never stretched beyond where I am right now. The fantasy is so good, but it really doesn’t serve me at all.
What I started to understand it that it is an escape. It is a way for me to avoid responsibility and check out for a while. It takes me away from the important things I need to do in my life and allows me to be in a world that serves me mentally for a short time, but really doesn’t add anything to my life long term.
I do like to visualize possibility and I certainly don’t confuse living in a fantasy world with the idea that we can create amazing things by being forward-thinking. Creating possibility is great, as long as it isn’t used to take the place of what is. Fantasy is basically replacing what is currently happening with the wish that things were different. I am careful not to confuse this with possibility visualization. I know I use fantasy only to avoid being right here, right now.
So, what do we do when we notice we’re drifting? We commit to being present. We take our thoughts captive and bring our minds back to the life we have now. If we want to create something different it won’t be from a place of fantasy, it will be from a place of being satisfied with the present life we have and working to improve that reality bit by bit every day.
It will come from knowing that life is the way it is right now because specific choices were made along the way to get here. It means that we get to create something new and amazing for ourselves starting now and that comes from visualizing possibility. What can our future be if we really choose into it?!
It is in being present that we can truly embrace the life we live and take responsibility for the changes we get to make to live the life of our wildest dreams!
Now I lay down and let my mind wander, but it is productive and allows me to lean into a world that is possible and also allows me to enjoy what I have now.
It is twofold — be satisfied now and choose into something different going forward if that’s what you truly want. Don’t waste time fantasizing about things that can never be because they only exist in the confines of your mind. In fantasizing, you’ll continue to dream and never choose something different from a place of responsibility. Be responsible for your life, and choose your visuals wisely so your thoughts can become a reality.
That’s how you, and I, can really live into what’s possible and won’t just remain stagnant in a fantasy world.
Enjoy creating the life of your dreams — I know I will!