Thanks for reaching out and sharing some of your story. A couple thoughts came up for me while reading… First, what is keeping you from making peace with the situation without having to talk to him? Are you able to forgive yourself and him for the way things turned out and move on?
It is nice to talk it out and make amends but if he isn’t open to that (which my friend isn’t either) what is keeping you from making peace with yourself, knowing you are worthy regardless of his reply or lack thereof and knowing that you reched out in love and that’s all you can do?
Why are you still holding on? What is keeping you in this place?
Hopefully you’ll be open to answering some of thse questions either on here or within. Totally up to you if you wish to share :)