Thank you for your responses — I am going to reply to them all on here for the sake of ease.
I appreciated all you said about codependency and the unhealthiness of the relationship. I can only control myself and I stopped trying to control what Jamie felt after awhile. I knew that if she was finding me untrustworthy and looking for ways that I might screw er over so often (and I was acting in integrity) I couldn’t keep trying to make that better for her. Either Jamie trusted me or not and that was up to her.
I was tired of the confusion, sadness and frustration that came with this friendship and I knew it was time for a break. I’m unsure as to whether we will ever be able to have a healthy friendship — at this point I am thinking it may not be possible. Even if I were to work through my codependency issues and need for her approval, she may not be ready to let go of her narcissistic tendencies, really be vulnerable and not have to be in control all the time.
One thing I have learned is how to stand up for myself and not give my power away anymore — that in itself has been a huge blessing!
Thanks again for your insights — they were very much appreciated!