Elle, wow thanks for responding with so much of your own experience — I really appreciate you sharing. I figured I wasn’t the only one out there who had gone through something like this in a personal development company and to know I’m not alone means a lot. Interesting that you dealt with a Jamie and that’s the name I chose to use — weird coincidence!
My Jamie would say she was always looking for feedback and had a desire to keep learning and growing, however when she was given feedback she didn’t do much with it. She sounds a lot like your #3 — the breach of trust, public humiliation and power dynamics were all very present in my situation too. It was a tough road, but one I thought at the time was leading me somewhere great. I looked up to Jamie and thought that she had the answers, being that she was so enlightened and had so much experience. Now I know that I have my own answers — and like you said, as coaches we help to bring people’s own answers out of them by asking questions, etc. We don’t tell them who they are…we encourage them to investigate themselves because they have their answers. We know ourselves best.
I know I am an empath with a big heart and I’m pretty sure Jamie saw that a mile away. I honestly cared about her and wanted a healthy friendship, but it could not be. Why I couldn’t see the abuse before now is a question I can’t fully answer. Now, I’m able to recognize manipulation, gaslighting, narcissistic behaviour and abuse much better than I ever have and I will be able to see the signs in the future. It sounds like you will too!
I have also learned not to give my power away. I saw the damage that was done in me when I did and I vow to never give someone that type of power over me again. It sounds like you are in the exact same boat, which is awesome!
Thanks again for sharing — I feel like I know someone who understands my experience.