Are you harbouring resentment for someone?
Are you holding onto something a person said YEARS ago, still upset about it?
Do you spend a lot of time thinking about that person from high school or college who hurt you?
If any of these apply to you then you are wasting valuable brain space on something that does not serve you.
You are letting this person live rent-free in your brain and all they’re doing is making mess and destroying the place!
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” — Ann Landers
Is that what you want?
Do you have strong desire to be unhealthy by letting others take up space in your mind?
To have your thoughts invaded by a messy renter who you allow to squat in your brain and take up residence there?
Don’t give them any more power over you.
The truth is they have moved on and they don’t even know that you’re giving them any thought.
If they did they might be willing to talk it out, however if they don’t know then they can’t even address it.
Either talk to them about it or let it go.
Letting them take up precious real estate in your brain without knowing their side is useless.
I have done this SO MANY TIMES.
I have refused to let go of someone.
I have harboured resentment.
I have re-played conversations in my head over and over…
...and planned the conversation I would have with that same person “one day when I get the opportunity”.
It was sad really.
I wasted so much time ruminating over words said and deeds done that had happened months or years ago.
I wasn’t doing anything about it — I was just stewing.
They took up space in MY mind rent-free while THEY lived their happy lives, often not giving me more than a second thought (if even that).
So why did I keep giving them so much mental energy when they didn’t deserve it?
I wanted justice!
I wanted to understand why they said or did that THING.
I wanted to know why the relationship ended — what I could’ve done back then to make it better and what I could do now if I had the chance.
I realized that some things get to disintegrate and die.
Even if I don’t like it.
I can’t have control over everything people say and do — the only thing I have control over is my reaction to it.
So I learned to stop giving them free rent — to the best of my ability.
If warranted, I chose to have an open, honest conversation with them.
If not, then I would choose to let the thoughts go every time they came into my head and love that person, despite how much I despised what happened in the past.
I evicted them and opened my mind to new thoughts that would actually be useful in moving forward.
And you can too.
It is a choice.
Every time a thought comes into your head that doesn’t serve you, you can choose to let it go.
I often imagine releasing a balloon with the thought inside it, watching it float away high into the sky, sending my negative thought away with love and forgiveness (I think in pictures ;).
Do whatever works for you — whatever results in your head being cleared out from anyone taking up space there.
Because when you have resentment or refuse to forgive someone, “it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” (Malachy McCourt)
Let go of the past.
The moment is NOW.
Don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Focus on YOU.
What are YOUR goals and dreams apart from that person?
Let the negativity go.
Those thoughts don’t serve you anymore.
And people who’ve hurt you don’t deserve to have a Free 5-star beachfront condo available to them anytime they want.
Or do they?
The choice is ours! :)